Shisha

Exhaling
The negativity
As he look upon
The dark ceiling
With all the questions
In his mind
Slowly wondering
Since when
It became a habit
Holding pipe in his hand
Never was a fan
Never had the thought
Never bother to try
Never ever been curious
What it feels like
Till that one day
Her message came
Explaining her cruelty
And hoping for forgiveness
It turn a man
Into a beast
Howling
With anger and tears
*Why not you give it a try?*
Said his pal
Handing the pipe
Towards him
Turning
Into a habit

Questions were asked
What make it a habit
He hesitated and answered

"Sometimes is hard to describe
Some may felt is cool
Some may influence by peers
Some treat it as alternative for ciggarette"

"For me is really something sentimental
What I call
*Exchange of emotions*
Imagine it yourself
Whenever I am upset or annoyed
Inhaling all the tobacco vapours
In exchange of
Exhaling all the negativity
Inside me
While looking
The vapour
Slowly vanishes
In the dark skies
It calms me down a little"

Ponder

The moon
Rising high up
Lining all over the ground
With silver lace
As shadow
Slowly cripping in
Where he lays down
Alone on his bed
Staring at the ceiling
Smiling
As pieces of you
Bring to mind
Gradually penetrating
Into his mind and heart
Even in his sleep
You were in his dreams

Despite
Curious and Impatient
How things going to be
He is holding back
Clearing doubts and confusion
Lust or Heartfelt
Complexity within simplicity
Yet being timid
Without testing limits
Crystal clear yet foggy

Friendship

Strangers like any
Things happened kinda hasty
Started off funny
Became friends
Like you and me
Life with you
Had been interesting
Without knowing
Tears and laughter
No longer belongs to me
You'll be there
When I wanted to share. 

Despite the storms and wind
What we believe had brought us through
What we call Friendship
That's the word
that is firm yet growing
It will bring us back
when we are scattered apart

Grateful
Simplest yet sincere
Word I will use
For having you dear friends
In my life

It's hard to describe when this moment comes

None of the alphabets that I know

Could form a word for you

It's unbelievable when thought of it

I had so much to express

But my voice had been silenced instantly. 

Thank you my dear friends

For playing your role faithfully in my life.

Rain

Rain shattered
Heavily pouring
down the ground
every mile he passed
kept him ponder
kept him anxious
yet curious
behind the eyes of the world
what defines him
and how it defines him
does it varies significantly
or merely self doubting
While hiding behind
the ice cold mask
cloaking
his burning passion
within him
stepping back
holding to himself
Is been sometime
he open up
raising his guard
even towards the closest
Gain his trust
Not betray with
he will be a guardian
to you
when he is needed

"I am just trying to hide your tears by pouring

more raindrops around you

so no one could tell that you are crying

yet dont have to convince them you are alright

I din mean to make things more sentimental

Cheer up and calm yourself

listen to the beautiful symphony of raindrops

I am not that sorrowful"

Linger

 "Is already 2014

Unexplainable feelings

Knowing you're coming

It kept him guessing

How do you feel

When you saw a man

that you used to loved

standing in front

pretending nothing

Are you really over him?

He always asked

Who are you?

someone he still or not loving

Tick..Tock..

Tick..Tock..

Time will be his companion

for the present and the future

fading and healing

the pain

his heart is enduring

might be over you

might not have the courage

to love one else

despite

knowing someone

he can go after."

順其自然

一份愛會出現裂痕 兩個人都要負責任
有些成長來自承認 我終於掙脫怨與恨
年輕總習慣去爭論 要別人照我的劇本
滿身傷痕 才知道悲哀是互不信任

不在乎的眼神 內心悄悄破損
在午夜的時分 被一個夢給拆穿沒忘記那個人

我試著讓生活變得清淡
對幸福或寂寞順其自然
偶爾小小孤單 偶爾小小浪漫
不怕大喜大悲那麼難負擔 

不想再背負太多期盼
對好奇或關心順其自然
只是那點不安 只是那點辛酸
總會忽然擴散讓心又累又茫然
(期望有人陪伴)

每一次記憶的翻騰 既美好也殘忍
思念讓舊情有餘溫
將我困在早應該要離開的空城


黃小琥 

Reflection

Opening my eyes slowly

looking at the clock

its midnight

waken up by a tiring dream

again

I look at the clock

and saw the small date at the side

just another ordinary day

which is the same day things happened year ago

Stood up

and washed my face

standing in front the mirror

and stared at my own reflection

times flies, indeed.

switched on my comp

breathed calmly

played the music player

and start surfing the Internet

Without realizing

It's been one year

not much I could talk about

not much I can think of

but just appreciate somebody who is there for you 

especially the moment you chosen somebody

and been together for some time.

some thoughts may affects the way you are thinking now

things will not be every way you wanted it to be

contradiction will always play its role

if you are not happy with your situation

remember, nothing is perfect

you may consider doing something to fix it 

if things really can be better

have some self - respect with anything you going to do

giving in everything sounds promising

but it is not a long term guaranty

or even end it

when there isn't any point wasting each others money and time

just for the sake of living together

binding each other

or just to show the world what you did was right

well

is your choice

when decisions is made

live with it, deal with it

I am not there this time.

Is true

there may be joy 

disappointment overrides 

Man Bai - Kau IlhamKu

Beribu bintang dilangit 

Kini menghilang 

Meraba aku dalam kelam 

Rembulan mengambang 

Kini makin suram 

Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah 

Sedetik wajahmu muncul 

Dalam diam 

Ada kerdipan ada sinar 

Itukah bintang ataupun rembulan 

Terima kasih kuucapkan 

Izinkan kumencuri bayangan wajahmu 

Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu 

Maafkanlah oh

Andai lagu ini 

Mengganggu ruangan hidupmu 

Kau senyumlah oh

Sekadar memori 

Kita di arena ini 

Kau ilhamku 

Kau ilhamku

Ponder

Sometimes
I just couldn't help myself
to stop myself thinking about things related to you know who
especially days with rains falling so heavily
and stucked in the long car queue
Maybe sentimental part of me
just happen to be dominant in my thoughts
probably, I guess.


Recently
she came to me through social network
asked me out for a movie
is kinda random
and there is contradiction in me
I don't know what came into my mind
I just bombarded her
with many craps
excuses and jokes
just to turn it down
till she turn out to become quiet in the conversation
I just realized how dumb for me
to respond in such a way
Trying to be normal?
Partly the reason I guess
Maybe I can't find a better way
to continue the conversation
under certain level of tension
I guess,
she was somehow disappointed and hurt maybe
and after realized what I did wrong
guess what I did?
ironically
I text-ed her "I am sorry."
and try to calm myself throughout the conversation
with my friend
Starting to question myself
as my friend throw me with questions that I should had thought of.


All I wanted to say is that
Its been almost 3 months
I did try my very best to let it go
and I really did 
because I don't feel the impact as much as I used to
stay away from your life
I don't try to be mean
but I just don't want to cause any misunderstanding
However,
frankly speaking
its been 3 years and as for that
partly of me might still holding on to grudge
partly of me might still upset a little
but this doesn't mean that i hated you
I guess I just need more time
to really, really
to free myself from it
and of course
give you some space to live you life
I will be fine, definitely.
I mean I will be great.
You got all the blessing
you can get from me, sincerely.

As long you are happy, I will pray for it to last.

Symphony

It was raining heavily
with the wind blowing strongly
certainly
with the lightning and thunder
I guess everywhere will be flooding
people under the rain will be soaking
running clumsily
finding a shelter to stay away from the rain
those who stucked in the road
will be cursing the weather


I am sitting infront of my door 
watching it rain
well
I guess there wasn't anyone like me
to be this free
Its been a while since i last do this
closing my eyes
listening to the rain falls on the ground
accompanied with other element
looking at the water flow
bringing the sands and dirt along
just reminded me things I shouldn't be thinking
just brings up all the emotions
that almost made me end up standing under the rain


I guess I am recovering slowly
from time to time
I guess I will get over with it
doesn't matter how long it takes
I guess I will still miss those days
but I not hoping for it
I guess I will still sing
although there isn't anyone listening
I guess I shouldn't give dam thing about it anymore
although is kinda hard but i will try
I guess I still got my friends around me
to mess my life upside down
I guess I am hoping for something miracle
but i doubt it at the very next second
I guess things are over
as I don't want anymore misunderstandings.


However,
I am sure that I am pretty fine and happy
with my current life.

Lunar Halo

09.10.2011

While i was exciting dyeing my hair

everyone on the Facebook was posting pictures and talking about the moon

friends were asking me about it

i quickly shouted to my sisters to get their lazy bum out of the house

just to have a view of the moon

of course me too

with all the foams on my head

take a closer look at the moon

wait!

i mean the ring surrounding the moon

the ring has color

with red on the inside and blue on the outside

if you happen to look at the moon that night

the moon looks extraordinary bright and round

it was nice and exciting for me

this was something new to me after living for around 19 years

its called the lunar halo

here some little facts about this "lunar halo"

*A lunar halo is caused by the refraction, reflection, and dispersion of light through ice particles suspended within thin, wispy, high altitude cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. As light passes through these hexagon-shaped ice crystals, it is bent at a 22 degree angle, creating a halo 22 degrees in radius (or 44 degrees in diameter). A double halo, sometimes with spokes, may be seen on rare occasions when light reflects off water or ice.

The prism effect of light passing through these six-sided ice crystals separates the light into its various colors, resulting in a halo tinged with very pale rainbow colors with red on the inside and blue on the outside. The phenomenon of a lunar halo is similar to a rainbow produced by sunlight and rain falling between your eye and the sun.*

Farmers' Almanac Staff 2009, Ring Around the Moon, viewed 10 October 2011,http://www.farmersalmanac.com/astronomy/2009/08/17/ring-around-the-moon/

after that

I rushed back in front of my comp

was excited like a kid

asking everyone to go have a look at the moon

and quickly googled this kind of phenomena

it was fun and happy

sharing the joy you had

i tried to use a better word to describe the moon

but my brain was blank

and only thought of the word 

beautiful =]

Whoever miss the scene

Heh, i felt sorry for you =P

there should be another chance i guess.